Errr, duh. So many things! Time for another liiiiiiiistttt…..
- Speak another language fluently. I’m your average old dumbbell American. Unilingual.
- Play the piano effortlessly (i.e. reading music without writing the letters first and/or playing fun songs from memory like “Our House” by Madness).
- Physically inclined. I wish I wanted to exert myself. But, I’m fiercely content sitting and reading. Hence, why I’m participating in Bloganuary 😉
- Able to retain what I read. Purely for regurgitations to impress people AND regurgitation to argue with people.
- I wish I could drive stick shift better. I can go… it just ain’t pretty.
- Roller skate; like roller derby level. I can skate… just, not bout-worthy. I attempted roller derby for a few months, earned the nickname the Wrecking Ball, broke my tailbone and retired.
- Be a med/surg and/or trauma nurse. I should’ve done my time early on, but I’m so totally stuck in the psych world, if I was floated to a medical floor, someone would pay with their life.
- Forage and survive. None of the Into the Wild stuff. I don’t wanna eat some plant that’s poisonous some of the time, I want to eat exactly the right stuff, survive and THRIVE. I’d be ok living in an abandoned bus.
- Swim. This is a vital life skill I never acquired. I was deathly afraid of the water until I was about 12 years old and I discovered if I held my breath, I could float. I then discovered some uncoordinated thrashing would propel me forward. Ideally, towards a wall or ladder.
This list brought me into a deep depression. Turns out, I’m not capable of much! Maybe I’ll make a short list of things I can do.
- I have a sonar capability to detect the nearest Taco Bell.
- I actually like Jeopardy.
- I can tell which buildings used to be Pizza Huts. Some of them still are, but they used to, too.
- I can hold my poop for up to 7 days. Not willingly, it just seems to chronically happen.
- I know where all the bathrooms are in my local shops like Target, Walmart, World Market, Home Goods, and TJ Maxx, among others.
- I have a disturbing comfort level with dirt. My own, the earth’s and in my home.
- I always find Waldo.
- Reading the room to deliver the perfect, well-timed joke. Most of the time.
- Pushing people who are larger than me and actually making them stumble back or fall over.
- Not losing my mind in traffic. It’s out of my hands, and since I’m already going to be late, I’ll just grab Starbucks. Or Wendy’s. They’ve really upped their breakfast game.
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